Laurelwood Public House and Brewery

Last night, in the ramp up to our 2nd Annual Stellaween festivities, we took our daughter and some family members out for dinner. Since the goal was to celebrate Stella's 2nd birthday (which is on the 29th, so we hence call this season Stellaween in honor of both her and the fun holiday she was born so close to), we decided to find a place that would be fun for her.

Unfortunately, Portland no longer has Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour (or Portland Ice Cream, the poseur that took it over). And we've sworn off of Chuck E. Cheese. So pickin's were slim.

My wife's dad suggested Laurelwood, which had also crossed my mind, seeing as they are touted as kid-friendly and a fun place for the whole family.

So we went. Upon arrival at the newest location, situated at 51st and Sandy in Northeast Portland, I was pleased at how clean and nice the space was to be in. I looked for the kid's play area, which I'd heard so much about. I was saddened to see it consisted of a small 4'x4' niche in the restaurant. If there was more for kids to do, I didn't see it.

We sat down and started looking for food, as various members of the family took turns running Stella to the play area. We were thrilled to find that Laurelwood has a happy hour every day, including Sunday, from 3-6 pm and from 9-close. Beers are $2.75/pint. Food's about $3.50 off of the happy hour menu.

We ordered two orders of the garlic fries to start. These are awesome. Fries, which in and of themselves are more or less normal (though none were soggy and all were fresh-cooked and crispy), topped with a bunch of minced garlic, some parsley, and some parmesan. They were simply delicious. I've never had garlic fries so good.

The menu is a bit all over the place, which made it hard for everyone to settle on something. There are menus that offer a nice selection, and then menus that offer too much. Laurelwood's falls in the second category. They'd benefit from finding a theme to work around, to help focus the mind of the diner and also to help complement their ample beer selection better.

I had a ton of trouble choosing. Until it was time to order, I was fixated on the crispy buffalo chicken sandwich. However, at the last minute, I switched to the santa fe burger (I'm a sucker for chiles and pepper jack cheese) with a side of onion rings. Total: $9.95.

The food wasn't fast getting out, but it wasn't too slow. We had a party of 8, and service took about 20 minutes, which is okay given that number of people. Our waitress was very friendly, if not entirely on-the-ball, and at least noticed empty drinks fairly promptly (though, on average, it would take 5 minutes to fill a drink order, though I was literally 8 feet from the bar). In terms of a place to go to enjoy company as well as food, Laurelwood does fit the bill.

I took some time to check out the play area with Stella. It was really a let-down. A few broken toys on a small city-scape carpet (if they'd had Hotwheel cars, we could've pretended to drive them on the roads, but alas they didn't). Toward the back corner of the space, I saw what appeared to be old mess of some sort under the carpet. There was no associated smell or crustiness or anything, but it conveyed a feeling of dinginess that was very unappealing. Stella didn't seem to mind, but at the same time she was obviously not that interested in the offerings for kids.

The food finally came and we all dug in. Stella ordered (via her parents, of course) the kids mac and cheese ala carte for $2.50 (you can get the main dish with fries and a dessert for $4.50), which she seemed to enjoy.

My burger initially looked like a sloppy joe. Though I didn't read the menu as indicating it, it was actually sort of a chili burger. The chiles were not really discernable, nor were any of the seasoning elements I'd homed in on while reviewing the dish on the menu. All in all, it was edible but disappointing. The onion rings were quite good, though, and didn't survive to make into my picture, below. My brother in law got the turkey burger, and he said it was good. My other brother in law got the open-faced meatloaf sandwich, which came with whipped potatoes (I tried them and they were alright, but not special) and green beans (cooked a bit too long, so more chewy than crispy, but seasoned nicely). I didn't get to sample the loaf itself, but he ate it all without any complaint, so it must have been at least decent.

My father-in-law ended up performing an act of grandfatherly exuberance, pulling out his card at the last minute to pay, so I never saw the bill. I think, for 8 people with drinks and the appetizers, we ended up around $100, which really isn't bad.

Laurelwood is touted as highly kid friendly. It's smoke free, generally clean, and noone minds your kid running from the table to the play area. But otherwise I don't see how it differs from most other restaurants. Perhaps other locations are more deserving of the kid-free mantle. The food is okay, but not special. The beer is good, and the plentiful happy hours make it a place to keep in mind, especially on a Sunday afternoon when you want to catch a game on the big screen over an affordable pint. It's a place that you'll never miss if you don't visit it, but also one that I could understand you liking if you're nearby and hungry.

PF Chang's

So, yesterday was Administrative Assistant's Day or something like that. We overlords at the office failed to plan for it, and so at the last minute El Jefe put out an e-mail saying that we'd be celebrating today (in lieu of bringing in kids for that special day), provided that we could all agree on a place to eat.

Normally, I love these announcements. I used to work in the public sector, so "free food" meant cookies and bad coffee at a public meeting. I moved to my new employer last fall, and since have had some very nice lunches. And when it's time to have another, I usually jump to the challenge of organizing it, because then I can usually weasle us into someplace new that I'd like to eat for free.

But, in recognition of the fact that the day is for support staff and not the supported, I put out an e-mail asking for suggestions. The first one was Sungari, which we haven't gone to yet, so I was secretly pleased at the initial wave of favorable replies. Then someone threw out PF Chang's. Been there, done that, and not impressed. Someone else threw out Henry's, another place we've been to, and then, somehow, the next 30 minutes turned into an e-mail taunting session aimed at hurting Gastro Boy's feelings (because he works with me) and putting down the PF Chang's contingent (largely, I must confess, out of my chagrin towards Vancouverites, as one had hopped squarely onto the Chang's Bus). I also tried to steer people toward The Hunan, which is one of my top two or three destination Asian joints, but I'd burned my capital in my bid to put down the PF Chang's offensive.

Eventually I created a voting system wherein staff members' votes would count double those of we, the oppressive overlords, and demanded that people weigh in. Pleasantly, Sungari won, with PF Chang's a close second and Henry's a distant third. Hunan wasn't even on the list. Gastro Boy made sure to note along the way that "PF Chang's is Asian like The Olive Garden is Italian," which qualified as the best one-liner I heard yesterday. Either that's saying alot for him, or it's a sad testament to my life.

I attempted the Sungari reservation, only to find out that they couldn't accomodate a group of our size on such short notice. So I grudgingly called PFC, and then loathingly accepted their cheerful and unflinching invitation to seat our full group at our desired time. Curses.

And so, today, we went to PF Chang's. PF Chang's, for those who haven't been there, is an upscale pseudo-Chinese-food franchise which is pretty big among the hipster set. As Gastro Boy was mumbling this morning, as we discussed our lunch sentiments, the young, rich and attractive that make places like these successful don't necessarily realize the difference between good and bad food. Or, more succinctly put (in what I suspect will be the best one liner I hear today), "places like that are good for only one thing: having a couple of cocktails and a Poo Poo Platter before you go a-whoring around downtown."

The restaurant is clean, dimly lit, roomy, and almost sterile in the sense that it lacks any real character whatsoever.



The food is generally solidly okay, never really impressive, and the portions never seem to align with the prices.

All that said, I really enjoyed it today.

We started out with some appetizers for our group: Crab Won-Tons, Salt-and-Pepper Calamari, and Spring Rolls. These were all non-spectacular. We followed up with soup, Won-Ton (which wasn't good at all) and Hot-and-Sour (which was overly thick, seemed fake, and asn't all that impressive in either hotness or sourness).

For lunch, I diverged from the normal Kung Pao tendency I tend to display and instead had "Tam's Noodles with Savory Beef and Shrimp." It's described on the menu thusly: "A unique gnocchi-like noodle stir-fried with sliced beef, shrimp and chili peppers in a subtle abalone sauce."

It looked like this:



(Well, there are a couple of Kung Pao Shrimp there that I stole from a co-worker).

The round, flat bits are the noodles. Altogether, it was very tasty. Spicy throughout, with nicely-cooked beef that was soft-but-not-limp and shrimp that were just plain yummy. And it was surprisingly filling; half of it made it back to the office for lunch tomorrow.

I sampled a couple of other people's dishes, and they were average-to-above-average. Better than some "authentic" Chinese places in town, but not as good as you can get at a non-franchised actual local Chinese joint.

The service was very good today. Normally it's adequate, but I was pretty happy with our waiter today.

For 11 people, with included gratuity, the meal came out to about $215. Not bad, but not terrific.

So, I expected to go to PF Chang's and be underwhelmed. I walked out with a full stomach born of good food. The company may have been a part of it (I have to say that sort of thing, I suppose), but the food absolutely did not disappoint.